WELLNESS THEORY

Ask 100 people what “wellness” is and you’ll get 100 different answers. Bottom line: It’s doing what you need to do to be emotionally happy and optimistic, mentally challenged and sharp, physically healthy, spiritually content, fulfilled in your job and relationships, and comfortable in your environment. One small change – positive or negative — in any one of these areas affects all the others. So it’s important to be positive because nobody wants an avalanche of negative. Counseling can help you change the way you think and respond to situations, help reduce addictions and relieve anxiety and depression.

Take optimism, for example. When you see the glass as half full, life tends to be a little less overwhelming. That’s because when you have a problem, you know you’re already halfway to the solution. With that attitude, you feel energized and hopeful that you can do almost anything. Positive energy attracts positive people, who give you more energy and can lighten the load even more. As your stress levels are reduced, your health and happiness improve.

Don’t discount how important energy is to your wellbeing – and, remember, you only have so much of it. You can choose to use it wisely or to fritter it away on wasted time, worry, regret and resentment. Once it’s used up, something has to give — usually your immune system or your patience.

Think about the last time you were burning the candle at both ends—working a full time job, trying to keep up a house, be a good spouse and chasing your kids and pets around. Were you pleasant to be around, or did you lack the energy to be patient and forgiving? Were you well rested and feeling healthy, or sick and tired of being sick ad tired? Did have time to attend to good personal habits, or did you use spray deodorant instead of shower, dress in those not-too-dirty clothes from the laundry hamper and eat leftover pizza for breakfast on the way to work?

Personal Strategy
So what does that all mean to you?
It means you’re responsible for/in control of your own destiny. You’re the only one who can prioritize your life, so it’s your responsibility to figure out what you need to be happy and what you need to do to make that happen. …

Just because something works for your partner/significant other or neighbor doesn’t mean it will work for you. Some people would rather die than exercise. Others would rather do anything than go to counseling and talk about the “F” word (Feelings). You have the ability to choose the solution you are most comfortable with. As you start to have less “stress” in one area, everything else will start to improve.

It also means that your energy is precious. Use it wisely and life will seem effortless; waste it and you’ll spend each day swimming up stream. If you have read this far, you believe that you have room to improve, so choose one or two of the suggestions below and see what happens.

Emotionally: Do one thing every day that makes you truly happy. A good belly laugh does wonders. Play with your kids. Get a comedy video. Watch the birds and squirrels in your yard.

Mentally: Try being more optimistic in the way you interpret things. If it’s raining, don’t focus on it being a gloomy day. Think about the good things: It’s cooler it is because of the clouds, or you don’t have to water your lawn today! Find something that challenges your mind or your creativity such as crosswords, puzzles, restoring an old car or redecorating a room in your house.

Physically: Go outside for 20 minutes each day to breathe the fresh air and get sunshine. Go on a 10-minute walk. Let yourself go to bed whenever you get tired for a week.

Socially: Make a list of people you enjoy. Call one of them each day. Send an e-card for no reason, or just take stock of how many wonderful people you have in your life.

Spiritually: Engage in random acts of kindness (See Resources below)

Environmentally: Clean up. You don’t have to be June Cleaver, but a tidy house or work space can make you more productive and generally happier. Get Feng Shui for Dummies and try out a few of its suggestions. Put flowers on your table to brighten up a room. Get some cookie dough from the store and bake your way into a sweet smelling house and very happy children.

Each week pick one area of wellness and experience how small (relatively painless) changes can help you feel happier and healthier in every aspect of your life.

Resources
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People series by Stephen R. Covey
Please Understand Me by David Keirsey
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff series and website by Richard Carlson Ph.D.
The Book of Lists series by Sandra Choron
Books by SARK http://www.campsark.com

http://www.actsofkindness.org/

Stress

My father used to have a coffee cup that read–and you see I have paraphrased :) : “STRESS is the condition resulting when the mind overrides the body’s overwhemling deisre to choke the living crap out of some poopoo head who desperately needs it”

Yes, this is the most common definition of stress. Let’s take a look at the problem.
75-90% of visits to primary care physicians are due to stress related problems
85% of adults report “high levels of stress” more than 2 times per week
Stress levels have risen dramatically in children and the elderly
1 million employees are absent on any give day due to stress related problems, according to the National Safety Council.
Job stress costs American industry $200-$300 Billion dollars each year.
60%-80% of on-the-job accidents are stress related.

Stress does not only include anxiety and mental stress, but also physical stress due to poor working conditions, shift work, excessively long shifts and inadequate time-off. Mental sources of stress include the obvious job stressors, but also “secondary stressors” caused by work at home. For example, my husband is a cop. His department often will transfer him to a different shift or change the times of his shift with little notice and for no apparent reason. Since both of our children are young, and I really like structure, this causes a lot of chaos and stress. Childcare becomes a crisis and our routines get disrupted which impacts our sleep, our interactions and our attitudes.

So what do we do about it?
Prioritize. Figure out what is really important. There are not enough hours in a day. What absolutely has to be done. What can wait?

Ask yourself, will this really matter 6 months from now?

Figure out what things you have control over and change those. For all the rest of the stuff, let it go. There is nothing you can do about it and getting all worked up just takes years off your life.

Get plenty of rest. When you are tired, molehills seem like mountains.

Avoid too much sugar or caffeine.

Treatment Planning in Counseling

Below are some of the best treatment planning resources currently available.

Treatment Planning for Addictions and Mental Health (NBCC #6261, NAADAC #599)

TIP 35 Motivational Interviewing

Learning Styles

One of my main issues with the public school system is that they do not cater to multiple learning styles. My son was in Montessori for pre-k and thrived because it accommodated multiple learning styles. Many people cannot homeschool their children, but you can arrange their learning environment at home to help them learn how to learn. The following article will give you tips and tricks to maximize your or your child’s learning experience. First, watch your child. When he learns something on his own, how does he do it? What things interest him? Does he just haveto take everything apart to see how it works? My son is a global learner. He finds some huge concept like “space” or “the environment” that he is interested in and we slowly dissect it getting movies, books and doing activities. I also noticed that he can hear a song once or twice and know it by heart. Therefore, we use music and rhythm to help him learn lists and concepts. How many of you remember when Potsy on Happy Days learned the circulatory system by singing “Pump, Pump, Pump Your Blood” (By the way, you can still hear that song on the Bayer Aspirin website).

We learn every day. We learn about ourselves. We learn about news and current events. We learn about others. We learn a new job or computer program. We learn stuff just to learn it. How much less stressed and more successful could our children be if we worked with them in a way that was meaningful to them… Learning styles are just another potential barrier to effective education. That is, we are not going to be nearly as successful and risk frustrating our kids and ourselves when we are trying
to teach them something in a way that they do not effectively learn. Many people are kinesthetic or visual learners. Nevertheless, we insist on putting them in groups and lectures and environments that are not conducive to learning for them. Although we may not be able to change the “system” completely, we can help kids learn how to function within it. For example, kids who are visual learners can be provided worksheets or encouraged to take notes. Small group activities to discuss
information or apply key points of the lesson are always helpful for kinesthetic learners. Read on to find out more ways to meet the needs of your kids and help them help themselves.

The first step in developing a realistic learning environment is for people to know their personal tendencies. What works for them? What adds extra dis-stress? What is the most efficient way to approach things based upon how they learn and their personality. A learning style is a name for relatively consistent pattern of behavior showing how people learn or adapt to their environment. People are often a combination of more than one learning style, but one style usually predominates. Learning style is the way people prefer to learn. It does not have anything to dowith how intelligent they are or what skills they have. There is no such thing as a “good” learning style or a “bad” learning style per se, and it is important for people to be aware of how their brain learns best in order to optimize their learning experiences.

Where does it come from?
Like temperament, learning style is largely in-born. Interestingly (and probably obviously) temperament and learning style interact. One of my “must-reads” for my students is Effective Teaching, Effective Learning: Making the Personality Connection in Your Classroom“. This book can help you learn to modify your environment to best meet your learning needs. Learning is affected by many things. As parents, we do not have the ability to change them all, but we can try to use them as much as possible, especially when helping with homework and extracurricular activities. The following link explains in great detail the differences in learning preferences across temperaments. Learning Styles

Learning styles can be conceptualized along 5 continuums:
• Environmental (The environment you need to learn best)
• Active/Reflective (When you process information)
• Auditory/hearing, visual/seeing, or kinesthetic/doing (methods for receiving information most effectively)
• Sequential or Global (How you conceptualize information)
• Sensing vs. Intuitive (What you pay attention to)
Understanding where your kids fit in each of these 5 areas will help you better design your presentations and their treatment plans and understand how to more effectively communicate with them.

Environmental Aspects of Learning
Aside from the way you prefer to receive information, there are many other things that affect your learning. Think about the last time you had a training and the room was uncomfortable, or the class was at a bad time for you. To determine your child’s learning environment preferences, have them answer the following questions.
1. Do you prefer silence, or background noise (television, others chatting), vocal music or instrumental music while concentrating or studying?
2. Do you prefer soft, dim or bright light while concentrating.
3. What level of temperature do you prefer while involved in studying and/or other learning activities?
4. Do you like to have a fan on and a breeze?
5. Do you prefer to study sitting at a traditional desk and chair, or do you like a more informal arrangement with different types of furniture, such as a couch, a recliner, or pillows and carpet on the floor?
6. For any topic, you have to decide the extent to which you are interested in learning. Are you self-motivated (intrinsic) by a desire to learn constantly or externally motivated through interest in a topic or positive feedback and reinforcement from peers and/or superiors?
7. Persistence relates to your attention span and ability to stay on task. Do you have a preference for working on one task until it is finished or do you prefer to work on a variety of tasks simultaneously?
8. Can you get lost for hours in a task if it something you are interested in?
9. Do you prefer to work independently without with little supervision, guidance or feedback, or do you prefer to have frequent feedback and guidance?
10. Do you prefer being told exactly what the learning task is, how you should proceed, and what is expected of you, or do you prefer to be given an objective and then be left alone to decide which procedures or options you use to reach the objective?
11. When working on an assignment, do you prefer to work alone or in a group?
12. If you prefer working in a group, do you like large groups or pairs or does it matter?
13. When working in a group do you prefer to be the group leader or just a member?
14. Do you like to work together with a supervisor or subject expert or do you react negatively to having authoritative guidance?
15. Do you like routines or patterns or do you prefer to work on what ever strikes your fancy at a given moment?
16. Do you prefer to chew, eat, or drink something while studying, such as a soft drink or coffee?
17. People’s energy levels vary at different times during the day. Do you prefer to work on a task that needs concentration in the early morning, late morning, early afternoon, late afternoon, or evening?
18. Can you sit still for a long period of time as long as you are interested in what you are doing, or do you prefer to move constantly — standing, walking, shaking your foot, tapping your pencil, changing body positions?

Now, use the answers you provided above and create the best learning environment for your
client.

Active and Reflective Learning
Which group of statements helps your child learn best?
• Reflective learners prefer to think about it quietly first “Let’s think it through first”
• Reflective learners, prefer working alone.
• Reflective learners can sit through lectures without getting to do anything physical but take notes
• Reflective learners often get more out of an activity if they do it as homework so they can have time to mull it over.
• If you spend too much time reflecting you may never get anything done.
• Active learners tend to like group work
• Active learners need to talk it out. Have them walk you through their thought process. Encourage group participation instead of always asking rhetorical questions.
• If you are an active learner in a class that allows little or no class time for discussion or problem-solving activities, study in a group in which the members take turns explaining different topics to each other.
• If you always act before reflecting you can jump into things prematurely and get into trouble.
How can you as a parent alter your child’s study and learning environment to meet the her needs? How can your child work within the confines of the “system.” and get the most out of the experience.

Auditory/Visual/Kinesthetic
This is how you best take in information.
Tips for kinesthetic learners
• Active kinesthetic learners tend to retain and understand information best by doing something active with it–discussing or applying it or explaining it to others. “Let’s try it out and see how it works”
• Work with others to guess what you will be asked on the next test and figure out how you will answer.
• You will always retain information better if you find ways to do something with it.
• If you are a reflective learner in a class that allows little or no class time for thinking about new information, when you study don’t simply read or memorize the material; stop periodically to review what you have read and to think of possible questions or
applications.
• Paraphrase and write-down important point as you read/talk/listen. (This is especially important if someone is trying to communicate something complicated)
• Manipulate the material through teaching or doing it whenever possible
• Use self-assessment quizzes to help clients identify issues
• Use skits or acronyms to remember important ideas
• Volunteer to make posters or overheads for group presentations (or a training manual if you are learning a job)
• Manipulate the information by making multiple choice tests or applying it in different situations
• Try to relate it to something you already know how to do

Tips for auditory learners
• Read your material out loud whenever possible
• Tape record your notes and listen to them while you drive, work out etc.
• Try to partner with a visual learner if you need to borrow notes
• Listen attentively to lectures
• Try to block out extra auditory (verbal) interruptions.
• If possible, tape record the class so you do not have to worry about taking notes
• Working in groups can be particularly effective: you gain understanding of material by hearing classmates’ explanations and you learn even more when you do the explaining.

Tips for visual learners:
• When you read material, visualize it in your mind. Then, try to recite it from memory.
• You may find you “hear” better if people write you letters or memos
• Rewrite your notes in a format which is easy to visualize and learn such as: outlining, color coding, underlining…
• Take mental “pictures” of things that must be remembered
• Use flash cards to learn and test yourself
• Use visual memory tricks where possible: acronyms, “a friend is a friend to the end” is a way to remember how to spell the word friend
• Visual learners remember best what they see–pictures, diagrams, flow charts, time lines, films, and demonstrations.
• Ask your instructor, consult reference books, and see if any videotapes or CD-ROM displays of the course material are available.
• Prepare a concept map by listing key points, enclosing them in boxes or circles, and drawing lines with arrows between concepts to show connections.
• Color-code your notes with a highlighter so that everything relating to one topic is the same color.
Have your children make a list of techniques they can use to best learn information in general and best learn about themselves.

Sensing Vs. iNtuitive Learning
Everybody is sensing sometimes and intuitive sometimes. Your preference for one or the other may be strong, moderate, or mild. If you are strong on intuition, you may miss important details or make careless mistakes in calculations or hands-on work; if you overemphasize sensing, you may rely too much on memorization and familiar methods and not concentrate enough on understanding and innovative thinking.
• Sensors often like solving problems by well-established methods and dislike complications and surprises
• Sensing learners tend to like learning facts
• Sensors are more likely to resent being tested on material that has not been explicitl covered in class.
• Sensors tend to be patient with details and good at memorizing facts and doing hands-on (laboratory) work
• Sensors don’t like courses that have no apparent connection to the real world
• Sensors remember and understand information best if they can see how it connects to the real world. If you are in a class where most of the material is abstract and theoretical,you may have difficulty. Ask your instructor for specific examples of concepts and procedures, and find out how the concepts apply in practice. If the teacher does not provide enough specifics, try to find some in your course text or other references or by brainstorming with friends or classmates.
• Intuitive learners often prefer discovering possibilities and relationships.
• Intuitors like innovation and dislike repetition.
• Intuitors may be better at grasping new concepts and are often more comfortable than sensors with abstractions and mathematical formulations.
• intuitors don’t like “plug-and-chug” courses that involve a lot of memorization and routine calculations. Which best describes you?
• If you are an intuitor and you happen to be in a class that deals primarily with memorization and rote substitution in formulas, you may have trouble with boredom. Ask your instructor for interpretations or theories that link the facts, or try to find the
connections yourself. You may also be prone to careless mistakes on test because you are impatient with details and don’t like repetition (as in checking your completed solutions). Take time to read the entire question before you start answering and be sure
to check your results

Again, review what your child does during learning time at home and at school to identify ways she could make her environment work better for her.

Sequential vs. Global Learners
People who have a preference for global learning are concerned with the whole meaningand the end results. They need to start with an overview of the big picture before they deal with details and facts. People who prefer sequential style of learning prefer to learn one detail at a time in a meaningful sequence. Once they know all the parts, they put them together and comprehend the big picture. Which do you prefer?

Tips for Sequential Learners
• Sequential learners tend to gain understanding in linear steps, with each step following logically from the previous one.
• Sequential learners tend to follow logical stepwise paths in finding solutions;
• Sequential learners may not fully understand the material but they can nevertheless do something with it (like solve the homework problems or pass the test) since the pieces they have absorbed are logically connected.
• Sequential learners may know a lot about specific aspects of a subject but may have trouble relating them to different aspects of the same subject or to different subjects.
• If you are a sequential learner and you have an instructor who jumps around from topic to topic or skips steps, you may have difficulty following and remembering. Ask the instructor to fill in the skipped steps, provide an outline of topics to be covered at the beginning of class or fill them in yourself by consulting references. When you are studying, take the time to outline the lecture material for yourself in logical order. In the long run doing so will save you time. You might also try to strengthen your global thinking skills by relating each new topic you study to things you already know. The more you can do so, the deeper your understanding of the topic is likely to be.

Tips for Global Learners
• Global learners tend to learn in large jumps, absorbing material almost randomly without seeing connections, and then suddenly “getting it.”
• Global learners may be able to solve complex problems quickly or put things together in novel ways once they have grasped the big picture, but they may have difficulty explaining how they did it.
• Strongly global learners may have serious difficulties until they have the big picture. Even after they have it, they may be fuzzy about the details of the subject.
• If you are a global learner, just recognizing that you aren’t slow or stupid but simply function differently from most of your classmates can help a great deal. However, there are some steps you can take that may help you get the big picture more quickly.
• Before you begin to study the first section of a chapter in a text, skim through the entire chapter to get an overview. Doing so may be time-consuming initially but it may save you from going over and over individual parts later. Instead of spending a short time on every subject every night, you might find it more productive to immerse yourself in individual subjects for large blocks.
• Try to relate the subject to things you already know, either by asking the instructor to help you see connections or by consulting references.
• Above all, don’t lose faith in yourself; you will eventually understand the new material, and once you do your understanding of how it connects to other topics and disciplines may enable you to apply it in ways that most sequential thinkers would never dream of.

My son is a global learner. You might as well hang it up if you are going to try to teach him the “building blocks” before showing him what he can do with them. He was this way with math, phonics and, well just about everything else. Once he learned about space, then he started wanting to know about numbers and distances and speed…you have to learn addition before you can do that stuff. Likewise, once he discovered books on space and dinosaurs he quickly saw the benefit in learning phonics so he could read on his own. That is only the first part though. He still was never going to learn well by rote memorization. He learned his phonics by reading. Slowly, steadily reading. He would read a page then his father or I would read it fluently so he actually understood it. The same with math. He is not fond of just doing drills, but if he has to solve equations to win a mission, beat me at Math War or something else, then he is unstoppable.

Other suggestions to take away the mundane
Make flashcards out of index cards and play trivial pursuit or Jeopardy
For math, comparing quantities and alphabetizing, we play the card game war. (obviously one subject at a time)
Create a new game. Get round and rectangular stickers, some poster board, index cards and dice and go to town making up your own game.
Brainpop
Time4Learning

RECOMMENDED READINGS
Effective Teaching, Effective Learning: Making the Personality Connection in Your Classroom

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is simply the way we feel about ourselves. It is the product of people’s evaluation of their real-selves compared with their ideal-selves. Everyone has an ideal-self. This is who they believe they should be. (remember, “shoulds” almost always add unnecessary stress). People form this idea of the ideal-self at an early age based upon conditions of worth. That is, as children, praise was given not for who they were, but what they were able to do or how they were able to act. As a result, they formed ideas about what a “good girl” or “good boy” should be. Due to children’s immature reasoning, many things are overgeneralized and made into global, stable and internal attributions. This tends to create an unrealistic ideal-self. For instance, many girls grow up to believe that they must be successful: partners, mothers and business-women. This is called the superwoman stereotype. Little boys believe they must always be: strong, successful, good partners and primary providers. In reality, that is nearly impossible for either gender to do. People’s real-selves are who they are with all of their inherent imperfections. To improve self-esteem, people must change the way they feel about a situation (i.e. change their feelings about their self-evaluation) or change themselves (either the real-self or the ideal-self).

Suggestions for Improving Self-Esteem

    Make a list of positive affirmations and add one new one each day
    Whenever you find a fault in yourself, remind yourself of three positive qualities
    Do not minimize your positive actions or accomplishments. Take credit where credit is due.
    Surround yourself with people who are positive and encouraging
    Instead of complaining about faults, take positive action
    If there is something you feel “bad” about that is impossible to change, then add a
    new, positive quality. Think about the person who makes up for a lack of physical attractiveness by having a good personality.
    Try to do a good deed every day
    Make changeable, specific attributions for negative events
    Remember “Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, but didn’t, so MOVE ON already!”
    Patience– changes do not happen overnight
    Accept your fears and work with and through them. Nobody is perfect.
    Evaluate whether you hold yourself to a higher standard than you hold everyone
    else. Do you think you are that much better than everyone else, or do you just need a reason to beat yourself up?

Describe your ideal self. (If you were the perfect person emotionally, mentally, physically, in relationships, in your job)
Describe your real self in those same areas.
Identify the differences between your real and ideal self. Pick 2 that you want to change and go for it.

50 Ways to De-Stress Your Life

1. Keep your house clutter free
2. Allow “wiggle-room” in your schedule
3. Get a pet
4. Maintain clear communication with house-members
5. Get up 15 minutes earlier for extra time
6. Lay out your clothes and book bag/brief case the night before
7. Set 2 alarms (one on the other side of the room) and have one with a battery back-up
8. Set one day aside to run errands etc. . .
9. Listen to “happy music” on your way to work
10. Get your least favorite task out of the way first
11. Make a resolution for the day to practice acceptance
12. Use only one credit card so you only have one bill/grand total to keep track of
13. Enlist the help of others when possible
14. Make an office buddy. You can give each other pick-me-ups when stress hits.
15. Try not to gossip
16. The more difficult someone is, the more stressed s/he is. Try and do something nice for them. It may be just what they need to get out of their funk.
17. Bring happy pictures to work. Even if you don’t have a desk, you can keep it in your pocket.
18. Take a time-out and go for a walk
19. Moderate caffeine and sugar as they mimic the stress reaction
20. Keep a humor page book marked on the internet. Go to it when you need a laugh.
21. Wear comfortable clothes
22. Practice affirmations and Stress Inoculation Training
23. Find something to look forward to every hour
24. Try to find something positive or redeeming about every task
25. Check to make sure your life is in balance: Do you feel overwhelmed by a particular area?
26. Do something nice for someone every day
27. Overcome one resentment or regret to free up some energy
28. Practice a relaxation strategy
29. Eliminate one stressor from every area of your life
30. When you get up, wake up with an aromatic bubble bath and your favorite morning drink
31. Reward yourself for a job well-done at the end of each day
32. Leave little notes with affirmations or jokes throughout your house/office: cabinets, drawers, books
33. Express your frustration through something creative
34. Spend the day with a child learning to appreciate what s/he appreciates: swings, clouds, merry-go-rounds, slides, scampering little ants. . .
35. Turn off all forms of external communication for a day: pager, telephone, cell phone, answering machines (or at least turn the volume all the way down–check it tomorrow)
36. If you died tomorrow, what would you like to spend the day doing today??? Do it (or as close as you can get)
37. Keep a running list of everything you run out of/need at the store
38. See about shopping from the internet.
39. Evaluate to see if you are giving too much
40. Contact at least 1 positive person per day
41. Describe your perfect day: what would you do (or not do) where are you (somewhere feasible) and make it happen at least once a month
42. Create a personal space where you can go and relax without interruption
43. Be honest with yourself about what is stressful then modify small parts of it
44. Volunteer for something in your profession (make it a tax write off–see your accountant for specifics)
45. Find a social cause to work for: saving stray animals, curing disease etc. . .
46. Cross things off your to do list for a sense of accomplishment
47. Learn how to play just as hard as you work
48. Don’t watch the news in the evening if it is going to stress you out
49. Spend 10 minutes a day being silly with someone else or an animal
50. Ask yourself, Is it worth time out of my life to get upset about this

Behavior Modification: What is it?

As humans, we often prefer to stay with what we know. People will tend to resist change until it becomes too uncomfortable to remain the same. Behavior modification is a wonderful tool. It can be used to increase behaviors, or to eliminate unwanted behaviors. Sometimes it is necessary for a counselor to provide you with education about the process, assistance identifying what rewards you are getting from a behavior and support as you create and modify your behavior change plan.

Change causes crisis and crisis causes change.

Think about the last few times you tried to change something in your behavior–i.e. lose weight, stop smoking, study more, keep a cleaner house. . . Unless there was a very powerful motivator, you probably returned to your old behaviors in less than a month. The key to permanent behavior change is to make it sufficiently uncomfortable to stay the same
 
Creating Your Behavior Modification Plan

  • Stopping Bad Behaviors
    Identify what behaviors you want to change and identify the what things (reinforcers) are currently maintaining that behavior (What is the benefit to doing it.) Until you do this, you will not successfully change your behavior for any lasting period.

  • Instituting New Behaviors
    Identify three new behaviors for each bad behavior that you want to start doing. Create a list of the benefits of doing each. These behaviors must satisfy the same needs as the behavior you are trying to eliminate and be nearly as equally pleasurable or effective.  For example, many people smoke to reduce tension and out of habit. If you replace that with eating celery you have accomplished the habit part, but is celery really going to help you reduce your stress?

  • Schedule
  • All behaviors you are trying to change need to be rewarded. Decide whether you are going to treat yourself to a reward after you have gone a period of time (1 day or a week) or accomplished a small goal (lost a dress size or reduced the number of cigarettes by 5 per day) or after you have reduced the frequency (I only lost my temper 3 times last week or I only smoked one cigarette every three hours).
    Make the reward rewarding, but also try to emphasize the natural consequences. For eating healthy and/or losing weight, maybe new clothes or a fun outing. For reducing cigarettes or shopping maybe you can reinvest the money you would have spent on the old behavior on something new.
    As you become better at using/doing the new behaviors, you need to increase the criteria for the reward (i.e. do it more often, for better or for longer to earn the reward) Then, one you have mastered the behavior, start reducing the frequency of the artificial rewards. Instead of providing a reward each day, provide only one per week. Once you are successful at that, then only one reward every two weeks and so on until the behavior is relatively self-sustaining. Remember, it takes at least 28 days to change a habit, but for some it can take as much as half the time you have been doing the behavior to change it. (for instance if you have been drinking excessively for 5 years, it may take gradual improvement over 2 ½ years to really change the behavior for good.)

    Target Behavior

    Measured by: Frequency, intensity and duration

    Discriminative Stimuli (What will remind you to do the behaivor)

    Reward(s)

    Example:  Exercise more

    Frequency of 90- minute, high intensity (over a 5 on perceived exertion) workouts per week

    Picture of self in swimsuit on bathroom mirror

    Write exercise time in daily planner

     

     

    Can only listen to favorite CD when working out

    · buy 3 new outfits when a size _____

     

     

    Resolutions And Behavior Change: It Is As Much About Why You Do As Why You Don’t

    The Common Pitfalls of New Years Resolutions
    Failing to consider why you currently do (or do not) engage in certain behaviors.
    As humans, we naturally do things that are rewarding and avoid doing things that are not. One of the biggest problems people have when they try to change their behavior is that they fail to look at all of the reasons why they are currently doing what they are doing. Ask yourself, what is the benefit to this behavior? Why am I not __________?

    People often try to remove bad behaviors, but fail to replace them with similarly effective positive behaviors. People who try to quit smoking either cold-turkey or by sucking on hard candy often end up gaining 30 pounds and being miserable. The oral part of smoking is only part of the problem. Most people smoke to relax, so, unless you find another effective way to relax, you are going to have difficulty at success. Nicotine is a drug and, you may feel withdrawals that sugar or other activities are not going to fix. If you feel those cravings, talk with a physician to help you get over the physiological part. You can then more effectively deal with the stress-relief and habit parts of it.

    Setting goals that are too big
    We want immediate gratification. Most of the big selling products are geared at helping us achieve big goals faster. That being said, most people are not motivated by goals that you cannot reach for two or three weeks or, worse yet, months. “I want to reduce my cholesterol by 30 points” is not a realistic short-term goal. “I will do one thing each day to reduce my cholesterol” is much more reasonable. This is especially important at the beginning of a behavior change. Set real goals that are rewarded every day or at least every week. For example: “If I go to the gym for at least 1 hour, I can __________ tonight.” Focusing on weight loss can be too slow to be rewarding, instead focus on burning at least 500 calories at the gym each day. The end result is the same, but the rewards are much more frequent when you focus on the daily calories and you will stay more motivated.

    Setting goals that are too hard
    Most people are not going to go from being couch potatoes to exercising nearly every day. That is unrealistic. Set a small, achievable goal. Once you achieve that regularly, then up the ante. To get the reward, you have to do more. For example, “I will walk for 45 minutes a day 3 days a week” can be fine tuned to “I will walk 45 minutes a day at a 14 minute mile pace, 3 days a week.”

    Setting too many goals
    Focus! Rome was not built in a day. Change one or two things a little bit. Cut back by 5 cigarettes per day and start walking for 20 minutes 3 days a week.

    Setting goals without sufficient rewardsJust feeling better is often not enough of a reason to keep people motivated to exercise, eat more healthfully or stop smoking. We want rewards that are as great as the effort we put out. If you are competitive, set goals with a buddy and compare notes. Let your friends know what you are doing. A public commitment to a goal makes it easier to keep, and people who know what you are doing will often give you those much needed kudos. If you are a private person, buy something or do something special as a reward.

    Setting goals that are too vague
    “I am going to exercise more” “I will eat better.” “I will have a more positive attitude.” None of these is specific enough to create any substantial or consistent behavior change. You want to be able to answer the question “How will I know when/if I have accomplished my goal?” Goals ideally need to have a frequency, intensity or duration (Preferably all three). Frequency is how often you will do the new behavior or will not do the old behavior. “I will eat at least 1 fruit each day” or “I will not drink more than 1 cup of caffeine per day.” Intensity is how strong you do the behavior “I will eat at least the minimum number of servings from each food group.” “I will not get more than 30% of my calories from fat.” Duration is how long you will do the behavior “I will walk for 45 minutes each day.” “I will not sit for more than 1 hour at a time.”

    Setting the wrong goals
    If you want to “feel better” look at why you feel bad in the first place. Are you sleep deprived, eating poorly, not exercising, depressed, physically ill or in chronic pain? Choose your goals accordingly. If you want to “improve your relationship” getting more physically fit might not be the answer, despite what many people think. Get with your partner to figure out what the problems are. Then set your goals, keeping in mind that the only person you can change is you.

    In summary:

      Anything you do to help yourself feel happier or healthier will lead to other positive changes.

    • Start with something small that you will do.
    • Do not eliminate any behavior until you have found a reasonable replacement
    • Ask yourself what the benefit is to your current behavior pattern. Make sure your resolution provides the same benefits in a healthier way.
    • Ask yourself what you hope to accomplish with this resolution. Make sure your resolution actually accomplishes that.
    • Ask yourself why you are not already doing it—what is holding you back. Address those issues first.
    • Ask yourself if you are willing to do what is necessary to change. Change is hard work. Really figure out if you are willing to work or are happier staying the same and just complaining and getting pity attention.
    • Make sure your rewards are rewarding and frequent

    If you find it hard to make successful resolutions, find a professional who specializes in behavior modification. Usually one to three sessions is all it takes to help you be successful.